me in the eyes of other people-----1048404朱叶

There is always a moment in our lives when we can see ourselves clearly in the eyes of other people.
When I was little, I totally didn’t care about how I looked like in the eyes of other people. I was just busy being myself. At that time, I was a very naughty and thoughtless child who was fooling around every day compared with my quiet and thoughtful sister in the eyes of those neighbours. Even my grandparents thought I was as mischievous as a monkey and needed to be well-disciplined. However, what they didn’t know was that in fact I did a very good job in school. All my teachers considered me as an intelligent student who could get good marks with just a bit efforts. Maybe shrouded in the magnificent images of my brilliant sister, I only can be common and not eye-catching.
When I grew older, I began to make a dream of the transform from a ugly duckling to a beautiful swan. I worked harder on my study, trying my best to prove my excellence. At this time, in my teachers’ eyes, I was a industrious and silent student. Almost all my classmates thought I was a person who just concentrated on study and cared nothing else. As a matter of fact, those are all illusions. Only my parents and my best friend knew me the best. I was knee on those soup operas. I was always dreaming that one day a prince would ride a car, not a horse to pick me up. I was so sentimental that I always cried on a minor matter. My mom once made a comment on me, “you are a fragile little girl who was always trying to look strong. But you are too stubborn to admit it”.
Now, it seems that I am old enough to know me well. In the contrast, I am more confused about myself. In front of me are so many mirrors, I can only see myself clearly in them and ponder, what do I look like?

文中连接词和过渡词稍欠丰富，内容基本连贯\能使用一些结构简单的长句，用词不错，但是学术词汇不够丰富。内容角度的选择不错，只是两大主要段落的中心不够突出，两段之间也没能形成比较鲜明的对比，我觉得吧，两部分其实都是讲述自己的表里不一，第一部分可以强调表现自己的真性情，第二部分是压抑了真实的自己，然后在议论一下为什么有这种现象，就是篇不错的文章。一些句子还是有问题的，如didn't care how I looked like (what)，thoughtless (感觉怪怪的，lighthearted?)，considered me as ... (去掉as)，transform (transformation或者transforming)，prove my excellence (不明白这里要表达的意思)，knew me the best (去掉the)，on a minor matter (这是你自己翻译出来的吧 太中式了吧，也不符合语法规范 )，fragile girl (这个形容词也有些问题，vulnerable?)。文章比较像先用汉语想出来，再根据自己的水平翻译出来……希望以后适当增加些阅读量，对写作和培养语感都有好处。