1248706 盛爽 第一次作业

Me in the Eyes of Others
Almost everyone labels me as a desperate lunatic. My campus life is known as busy and challenging, because whatever I do, I will pull out all the stops to make it. There are mainly three examples illustrating my friends’ view.
Firstly, my friends can always see me engaged in all kinds of management work. I’m the monitor in class, the leader of one student association as well as the student assistant of chief librarian. Most of the time, these three kinds of work came to me simultaneously, and usually tired me out. However, to everyone’s surprise, I would go all out for it and finally managed to arrange everything.
Secondly, this May, I have been selected as an athlete of our university to attend Jiang Su province orienteering games. In order to win the prize, I practiced harder than others for weeks. My friends can always see me running more than ten laps in the playground every night and getting up at five in the morning to get map training in the mountain every weekend. Although I got my left leg broken in the games at last, and even got my leg in a plaster cast for nearly two months, I didn’t regret for what I have done. I just ran for all I was worth, which helps me gain the reputation of desperate lunatic.
Besides, I’m also a desperate lunatic in study in my friends’ eyes. At first, many friends are astonished to hear that I’m busy with campus activities, but still won first- class scholarship and minored in business administration. Then it would be understandable after seeing me putting my heart and soul into studying.
This is me, a girl who will go all out for anything she decides to do. I hope you will like.

行文比较流畅，但我觉得后半部分明显不如前半部分，语言多为平铺直叙，缺少一些生动的表达，建议阅读一些文学方面的文章或者书籍，如果侧重lunatic，之后的每个例子都要去强调这一点，里面可以用一些夸张比喻等修辞，这样会增色不少，请继续加油。具体一些表达上的问题，如Most of the time, these three kinds of work came to me simultaneously, and usually tired me out. 我们课上讲过overwhelm这个词，用在这里还是挺合适的。People/My friends can always see me都是中式英语，倒数第二段是文中问题比较大的一段，to hear that I’m busy with campus activities, but still won first- class scholarship and minored in business administration.这里我们使用despite就可以把句子精简一下，Then it would be understandable after seeing me putting my heart and soul into studying.这个结论下得太快了，请务必注意下写作时的逻辑。