1248608 李梦如 第一次作业

Me in the eyes of other people

   “ She is a dancer, have been very graceful on the stage so far”. That is the unanimous description my friends and acquaintances give me. Even my boyfriend once told me that my performance captivated him completely when he first knew me. Shakespeare said,” There will be a thousand Hamlets in a thousand people’s eyes”, I am so wondering that whether I have different impressions in others’ eyes.
   My mother gives me the first label—cute obedient. I must admit that I have not done anything out of passion since I was a little girl. It seems that I always do the things as my parents or teachers told me. In addition, during the Youth Olympic Games, our manager thought highly of me just because I was well-behaved .
   The second label from my boyfriend is never to mature which is a little beyond my expectation. In order to finish this writing, I specially discuss this problem with him. However , in his eyes, he regards me as his little sister even his daughter which lets me cry and laugh though he is five years older than me. I did not argue with him for I know one day I will prove myself to be a mature woman.
   At last, I inquire my roommates, they label me as the uniform accuse. The reason why they hold the view is not only is my boyfriend a soldier, but most of my hetero***ual friend are soldiers. Frankly speaking, the cause is not my fetish, but coincidence.
   All in all, with these different labels, my image become more varied rather than a single figure of dancer. By this way, I understand myself further and I prefer to complete myself so that more people can give me a deeper description.

思路清晰，但书面表达有所欠缺。具体的一些问题如下，说实话，莎翁那句话放在那有些多余了，前面一直在讲跳舞，那么后面可能还是相关的一些内容，但突然出现这句话就有些突兀了。 in his eyes, he regards me as his little sister even his daughter which lets me cry and laugh though he is five years older than me. 这句话的从句部分有问题，这个which指的是什么？immature或者mature具体体现在什么方面呢？最后制服控不是这么说的，uniform accuse，难不成是自创的……，“控”最初源于动漫、游戏，系complex（情结）前音con的简称及音译，且指对某种事物/人物/偶像/事件/兴趣爱好...极其沉溺酷爱的爱好者，所以我们可以说I have a uniform complex，或者用Uniform Con。