1048202龚成欣 第一次作业

Such is human nature that everyone wants to know about him in the eyes of other people, as it does in the case of queen and miracle mirror. Today,I call up all my courage and ask some friends about how they think of me. Then not only do they appreciate my merits, but also point out my demerits.
At first, my friends praise me as a hard-working girl, in that I am always paying full attention to each assignment , no matter how trivial it is. Take one for example. When at a English course, everyone was arranged to do a duty report.. I chose a topic to talk about the history of the Internet. Then during the next whole month I had been practicing day by day in order to make a perfect 10-minute performance.
Next,people regard me as a sincere and reliable friend. Once I make friends with someone,I will surely be loyal and honesty to her. Whenever she has some trouble, I will accompany her and spare no efforts to help her.
At one night, Lucy telephoned me and asked me if I had any antipyretic.After *** a thorough check in my medicine cabinet and finding none, I inquired for her syndrome and offered to take her to the clinic of our university. It was astonishing that her body reached the temperature of 39.5. The doctor called campus bus and told us to Iiangning Hospital as soon as possible. She was diagnosed as gastritis and get a further treatment. Not did we came back to the campus until it was well over 11 p.m. Although entirely exhausted, I believe all my efforts were worthwhile and it was what I felt obliged to do as a true friend.
However, I also has some shortcomings, just as the famous saying goes,"Every man has the defects of his own virtue." When introduced to a stranger at the first time, I will inevitably feel ill at ease and be reluctant to play an active role in the communication. At this point, I must admit that I am a complete introvert. In fact, I desire to be an outgoing girl who can talk with people freely and joyfully, but I am worried about being hurt and annoyed to make evil associates. That can be a big obstacle in my career which I should overcome and be open-minded to others. Besides, I tend to tell cold jokes to other people which they actually find no fun at all.
Through this talk and inflection, I have learn about what I am in other people's eyes and decide to try my best to improve myself to live up to their expectations towards me.

算是比较正统的写法吧，直接根据题目来写的，内容整体看来还不错，条理很清晰，首尾也有呼应，但学术词汇使用的略欠缺一些。使用了长难句，长短句之间有所变化，连接词也用的不错，请继续努力。一些表达和句法上的错误如下，queen and miracle mirror (magic mirror?)，call up all my courage (summon?)，She was diagnosed as gastritis and get a further treatment. 和I believe all my efforts were worthwhile (两个句子中都是前后时态不一致)，I desire to be an outgoing girl who can talk with people freely and joyfully, but I am worried about being hurt and annoyed to make evil associates. (这个理由我没太看明白)，decide to try my best to ... ( am determined to ...)。