Education expand the gap between the poor and the wealthy

As a remarkably crucial part of national quality, education has been supposed to be one of the measurements to change fate and narrow the gap between the rich and the poor. However, that kind of fate changing education is based on an absolutely fair chance of receiving education that is impractical in reality. The current situation, we have to admit, is that education has been expanding the gap between the poor and the rich, which can be briefly illustrated in 3 parts.
First, there are already gaps of education quality, resource, facility and investment between rich and poor housing estate, urban and rural area.
According to the 5th National Population Census, 70% of the college students nationwide are the urban residents, rural residents only take the rest 30%, which is an up side down to the figure that rural residents take 70% of the nationwide population while the urban residents take 30%.
Experts have pointed out that education is a kind of resource, and every civil has the equal right to use this resource. However, in the process of receiving education, the citizens who are wealthy or powerful will do everything possible to dig the best resource, which will break the equality in using education resource.
Look at the steaming system of schools, it leads to the eager of both parents and students about elite education, as well as pursue of “great expectation” of their children at all cost.
This kind of pursuing will result in the two phenomena: one, large number of the superior students, intelligent and wealthy, will centralize towards key schools and big cities. Besides, the quality of students remain in poorer areas will reduce year by year. Two, the lost of good teaching resource, which means a huge amount of teachers will flood to key schools in the cities because they want to leave this kind of school, lacking in material treatment, to pursue self-improvement.
Second, children of well-educated parents are more easily to get good education.
The most obvious disparity between the urban and the rural area is the disparity of education, the number of the college graduate from urban area is 281 times of the rural. What can we get from this alarming figure? The disparity of income between urban and rural area caused by education disparity will continue expanding in the next generation.
A survey published on the first phase of <Chinese social sciences> shows, from 1952 to 2002,the students of Peking university and Suzhou university, the proportion of children from cadres` and leaders` families to the whole students presents a generally ascending trend, when the proportion of children of workers` and peasants` families steady declines.
The well-educated parents have much better understanding of the importance of education, meanwhile most of them earn a good salary and have decent jobs. So, they will try their best to have their children educated in key schools or top universities abroad.
Third, the unfairness in education expands the material gap and self-develop gap after students graduate.
As we all know, the innate difference between people is not as decisive as the education and social practice afterbirth. It is true that the more education one receive, the more knowledge one has, the more opportunity he will get, the higher salary he will be paid, the higher quality he will live. The earlier education one receives will decide his performance in the later career and life.
　　For every common civil, the disparity of education and quality will surely lead to unfairness in job hunting. As the main part of the low income class, off-job workers and the surplus labor force are constituted by young people, they lack education, as well as the opportunities of getting jobs and earning money. This kind of unfairness makes the poor people hard to get into the middle and upper class of the society, what is more, their children will face the same educational obstacle and fate.
Education is not an industry or a production, it can not be directed by market economy. Children are not the reproduction of parents, they should have equal right to choose their fate. The unfairness of education in china steady expands the gap between the rich and the poor, if this phenomenon go on degrading, the whole nation will face the sever consequence.

总体非常棒，句式丰富，复杂句运用自如啊~~
就是低级错误略多了。

1，"The current situation, we have to admit, is that education has been expanding the gap between the poor and the rich, which can be briefly illustrated in 3 parts."
10以下的数字应该用英文表示，应该是”three”
2,"First, there are already gaps of education quality, resource, facility and investment between rich and poor housing estate, urban and rural area."
(1),“there be”句型不是这么用的。。。表示已经存在差距可以用”the gaps between ... already exist.”
(2), resource, facility都应该复数。 还有后面however 那句最后， education resource都应该复数。
3,"According to the 5th National Population Census, 70% of the college students nationwide are the urban residents, rural residents only take the rest 30%, which is an up side down to the figure that rural residents take 70% of the nationwide population while the urban residents take 30%."
有木有发现这句话里面其实有两句话呢。。两句话之间少连词
4,"Experts have pointed out that education is a kind of resource, and every civil has the equal right to use this resource."
“every civil”是什么。。
5,"Look at the steaming system of schools, it leads to the eager of both parents and students about elite education, as well as pursue of "great expectation " of their children at all cost."
又是同样错误。祈使句后面怎可逗号又直接加句子呢
6,"This kind of pursuing will result in the two phenomena: one, large number of the superior students, intelligent and wealthy, will centralize towards key schools and big cities."
这句错误有三：1，”large number of” 2,”the superior students, intelligent and wealthy”并列的东西词性不一致。3，“centralize towards”没有这个搭配，centralize是及物动词。。
7,"Besides, the quality of students remain in poorer areas will reduce year by year."
这句话俩动词。还有quality 不会 reduce的，只能 decline 或者 deteriorate。还有remain 在这里用词不恰当，意思不明确啊。
8,"Two, the lost of good teaching resource, which means a huge amount of teachers will flood to key schools in the cities because they want to leave this kind of school, lacking in material treatment, to pursue self-improvement."
“material treatment”是什么？
9,"Third, the unfairness in education expands the material gap and self-develop gap after students graduate."
“the material gap and self-develop gap ”两个搭配都不太正确。还有self-develop没这词
10,"It is true that the more education one receive, the more knowledge one has, the more opportunity he will get, the higher salary he will be paid, the higher quality he will live."
額。。这个太不规范了
11,"For every common civil, the disparity of education and quality will surely lead to unfairness in job hunting."
“every common civil”是什么
12,"As the main part of the low income class, off-job workers and the surplus labor force are constituted by young people, they lack education, as well as the opportunities of getting jobs and earning money."
又是两句句子了。They 改成who
13,"Education is not an industry or a production, it can not be directed by market economy."
只有“cannot”或者“can’t”。没有“can not”
14,"Children are not the reproduction of parents, they should have equal right to choose their fate."
两句话了
15,"The unfairness of education in china steady expands the gap between the rich and the poor, if this phenomenon go on degrading, the whole nation will face the sever consequence."
错得离谱了。两句句子，然后“steady expands ”，“this phenomenon go on ”，“face the sever consequence”各种低级错误就不赘述了。。。

呼。。。。
总的评价：
优点：1，数据资料充分。2，句型丰富。3，层次清楚。4，够长。。
缺点：1，语法错误多。2，用词太随意，欠思考。3，不够认真啊。。下次再这样不帮你改了>0<

我下次写短一点吧，自己先改好以后再发上来，我的确不怎么注意断句啊，低级错误啊什么的，而且经常单词量太少查汉英字典结果又用错了。不要不帮我改啊T-T，我自己是发现不了语法错误的。。。

Education expands the gap between the poor and the wealthy
As a remarkably crucial part of the national quality, education has been supposed to be one of the methods to change fate and narrow the gap between the rich and the poor. However, the fate changing education is based on an absolutely fair chance of receiving education that is impractical in reality. The poor are usually impeded by the high tuition fee, so they receive relatively less education than the wealthy. As universally acknowledged, the current situation is that education has been expanding the gap between the poor and the rich.
First, Between rich and poor communities, gaps of education quality, education resource, education facility and education investment have already existed.
According to the 5th National Population Census, 70% of the college students nationwide are the urban residents, while the rural residents only take the rest 30%. This data is an up side down to the figure that the rural residents take 70% of the nationwide population when the urban residents take 30%.
Education is a kind of public resource, and every civil has the equal right to use it. However, in the process of receiving education, the citizens who are wealthy or powerful will do everything possible to dig the best resource, which will break the equality in using education resource.
Look at the streaming system of schools, it cause the eagerness of both parents and students about elite education resources, as well as pursuit of “great expectation” of their children at all cost.
This kind of pursuit will result in the two consequences: one, a large number of the superior students who are both intelligent and wealthy, will flock into key schools and big cities. At the same time, the quality and number of students who remain in poorer areas will reduce. Two, a lost of good teaching resource in poor areas, which means a huge amount of teachers will flood to key schools in the cities because they want to leave poor schools to have better payment and chances for self-improvement.
Second, children from well-educated families are more easily to receive good education.
The most obvious disparity between the urban and the rural area is the disparity of education. A survey published on the first phase of <Chinese social sciences> shows, from 1952 to 2002,the students of Peking university and Suzhou university, the proportion of children from cadres` and leaders` families to the whole students presents a generally ascending trend, when the proportion of children of workers` and peasants` families steady declines.
If a child have two well-educated parents, chances are, he or she will also be well-educated. Because the well-educated parents often have much better understanding of the importance of education. Meanwhile, most of them have decent jobs and earn good salaries, so they can easily afford to pay high tuition fees of key schools or top universities abroad and extra money to treat their children with piano lesions, tennis training or summer camping. .
Third, the unfairness in education expands the material gap and self-improvement gap after students graduate.
As we all know, the innate differences between people are not as decisive as the educations and social practices after birth. It is true that the more education one receive, the more knowledge one has, the more opportunity he will have, higher salary he will be paid, the higher quality of life he will live. The earlier education one receives will decide his performance in the later career and life.
　　As ordinary people, the disparity of education and quality will surely bring to unfairness in job hunting. As the headache part of the low income class, off-job workers and the surplus labor force are mainly constituted by young people who lack education. They can hardly have opportunities of getting jobs and earning money in such a society crowded with talented people. The unfairness in job hunting caused by education makes the poor people hard to get into the middle and upper class of the society, what is more, their children will face the same educational obstacle and fate. The disparity of income between the poor and the rich caused by education disparity will continue expanding in the next generation.
Education is not an industry. It can not be directed by market economy. Children should have equal right to receive good education and to choose their own fate. The unfairness of education in china steady expands the gap between the rich and the poor, if this phenomenon go on degrading, the whole nation will face the serious consequence.

课上分析过了，多留意一下用词和语法吧。