The Unbearable Heavyness to Higher Education

Long before, a reporter toiled a long way and finally interviewed an innocent shepherd to demonstrate that life without education is hopeless and meaningless. What’s worse , this vicious circle will transmit through successive generation. Consequently, the shepherd effect indeed extends . Thus, the whip in the hand of the shepherd was not only a tool used to graze his sheep, but also a baton employed to conduct throngs of people stepped on a pilgrimage to education ambitiously. However, before long ,they detected that the shepherd was the hero in the story of “The Wolf is Coming”. He deceived them and wove a ethereal promised-land. Actually, it was not the shepherd’s fault, what at issue is that people have undue expectation for education.
Firstly ,I believe that education doesn’t exacerbate the status quo .It seems that education is a voluntary accessory of socioeconomic inequality as someone aware that the poor can’t afford the high education cost in money and time . Besides, education is increasingly market-based which is lured to catering to the rich and ranks. In fact , I think it can only prove that the socioeconomic inequality which have long existed is difficult to conquest . Despite the fact that education strains to bring the socioeconomic equality out ,the manacles of inequality still binding the powerless education.. Therefore, education, the realm of the superstructure ,can’t defeat the socioeconomic inequality, the unassailable root, at one stroke .However, we should firmly believe that the constant dripping water of education can wear the tough stone of socioeconomic inequality.
Secondly, although higher education’s influence to socioeconomic inequality can’t extend in various ways to various degrees . Still, we can detect it from some aspects. Just tracing back several generations ,our older generations are virtually farmers. Especially in feudalism , the emperor perpetuate the crowning landlord across the country while the most ordinary people are peasants. It seems that the intellectual and the peasants is polar opposite. The rich and the poor to attend higher education is substantially disproportion to the population. However, in the modern society ,the situation is gradually improved , decades ago ,the peasants’ children admitted to the university are branded as phoenix feathers and unicorn’s .But now the number is rising dramatically facilitated by many educational policies and philanthropic organizations which build up more arena to develop their potential talents and exert their intelligence . Despite of the futility to make them instantly wealthy and high-ranked, it liberates many mind which aspired to knowledge from the fields .Even if they continue agriculture ,they can utilize their field more efficiently .Besides, their next generation will have a higher starting point .
Thirdly, what higher education can bring is not the gratification of wealth and rank visibly ,what invisible and more important is that higher education endowed people the right world outlook .They can realize their unique role in society not need to be measured on the scale of wealth and social status .Just as what chairman Hu said :Chinese should live respected and work decently .Regardless of the color of their collars ,they can regard themselves respectable .
We must bear in mind that higher education is not a panacea. It can’t shoulder too many duties .But provided it time and some tolerance ,I believe it will show us its potent and potential power to change the society structure and people’s values.

总体来讲，本文的写作特点是熟练运用连词，和高英课学过的单词句型，作者词汇基础扎实，拼写也很棒；可适当增加从句和复杂句使用。
文章标题应该是要化用The Unbearable Lightness of Being很好
各段开头提出论点，而且观点鲜明。不过用这个格式的时候，两段之间最好空一行
第一段 开头叙事，toiled a long way 很形象且能侧面烘托牧羊人生活环境的恶劣，把不受教育与狼来了做比很好，体现了受教育的紧迫性，但是好像有一点牵强，因为狼来了主要表现应该是人们从开始的重视到之后的不重视，而本文没有这个转折，可以考虑换一个例子或者直接引出主题，人们对教育的期望过高。ethereal前冠词应该为an
第二段 观点认为教育没有夸大现实情况。运用了很多高级英语词汇，来表明自己的看法，即教育是一个“水滴石穿”的过程，不能一蹴而就地改变社会现状。
第三段 观点认为教育对人的改变不是立即显现的。用封建社会的帝王加冕地区头领的例子与现在农村走出的大学生对比，体现了教育可以积极改变社会结构。运用了一些如feudalism，philanthropic organizations 等比较专业的词汇。
第四段 观点认为教育不是给人地位和财富，重要的是正确的价值观。并引用了***总书记的话"Chinese should live respected and work decently",不过没有找到对应原文。
最后总结 教育终将改变社会结构及人们的价值观，论证完整，逻辑清晰。

很同意你搭档的看法，里面的高级词汇使用的比较好，从句可适当增加一些。第一段狼来了这个例子我也觉得不是很合适，不知道你具体是怎么想的，可以和搭档讨论一下。第二段的分析很好，特别喜欢accessory of socioeconomic inequality 这个表达，能不能增加具体的例子结合起来分析，效果可能会更好些。第四段的观点我觉得角度选择的很不错。总体看不错的文章，但里面句式略显单一，用"I"的表达也不少，可以考虑用被动语态来改写一下。

看来那个思维跳跃性有点大，表达不清啊，我再解释一下第一段的例子吧，首先提到主持人采访得到的放羊娃的梦想是一个祖辈放羊的恶性循环，这很大一部分是教育缺失造成的，这个报不出后，全国人民都深受启发，发现教育的重要性。这个事件背后放羊娃可以算作导火索，所以我说放羊娃的鞭子成为了指挥棒，让人们了解到教育的重要性。这是其一，其二放羊娃的形象还出现在一个经典故事狼来了中，其中放羊娃同样起到了指挥的作用，提供虚假消息，逗得山下农民团团转，是一种错误指挥。我提到其实报道中的放羊娃就是狼来了的放羊娃，意思就是他也只是提供了错误信息，其实教育远没有那么神奇。我觉得还是可以接受的吧，不过，解释过程中我突然发现这个例子的问题在于和教育有关，和高等教育无关啊，我也想了一个补救方法，就是“教育，特别是可以确立正确三观的高等教育”，不知道我的解释是不是还是让人一头雾水啊，我再改改