1048604 张淑娟—Education and Inequity

Education,long regarded as a dominating way to change one's fate,has recently failed to live up to many teenagers' expectations because of the confrontation of inequity rendered by it.
The biggest inequity education causes exists in the field of job market.Profound knowledge,remarkable talent and decent diploma,which some people are in lack of ,impede them from finding an appropriate job.With great expectations, they step into society,however,the reality dampens them.Because they find it impossible to present a diploma ,which they can pride them on and on which the interviewers put great emphasis.Employment recruiters prefer those who graduate from institutions of higher education to mediocre people without much talents which was caused by education.Different levels of education cause inequity in the job opportunities.
Education also has some bearing on social status.Different levels of education lead to different social values.Holding disparate view of life, the less educated are often regarded as vulgar people,as a result of that ,they are often isolated or even looked upon by the so-called literate people.Education causes inequity in social class,in which the less educated have lower status than those who receive high education.
Education does cause a lot of inequity in many aspects of out daily lives ,it remains an vital tool to screen the elite,what we need to do is to evaluate it in a dialectical way.

Education,long regarded as a dominating way to change one's fate,has recently failed to live up to many teenagers' expectations because of the confrontation of inequity rendered by it.
The biggest inequity education causes exists in the field of job market（1）.Profound knowledge,remarkable talent and decent diploma,which some people are in lack of ,impede them from finding an appropriate job.With great expectations, they step into society,however,the reality dampens them.Because they find it impossible to present a diploma ,which they can pride them on and on which the interviewers put great emphasis.Employment recruiters（3） prefer those who graduate from institutions of higher education to mediocre people without much talents which was caused by education.Different levels of education cause inequity in the job opportunities.（2）
Education also has some bearing on social status.Different levels of education lead to different social values.Holding disparate view of life, the less educated are often regarded as vulgar people,as a result of that ,they are often isolated or even looked upon（4） by the so-called literate people.Education causes inequity in social class,in which the less educated have lower status than those who receive high education.
Education does cause a lot of inequity in many aspects of out daily lives ,it remains an vital tool to screen the elite,what we need to do is to evaluate it in a dialectical（5） way..（6）

（1）in the field of job market 有点别扭，搜索谷歌上发现没有相似用法，建议换成job market
（2）第一段逻辑是教育在就业问题上造成的不平等，知识，天赋和证书更被用人单位所看重。其中暗含假设教育赋予了工作市场的优势者知识天赋和证书。建议对假设增加支持性论证。
（3）换成executive recruiters可能更地道一点。
（4）look upon主要意思为看作，根据句意换成look down更合适
（5）dialectical意为辩证，建议增加一个关于教育有益方面的若观点来平衡文章
（6）最后一段三个句子用逗号链接了，表示改成从句或增加连接词可以解决这个问题

整体写的( ^_^ )不错嘛，用词很好句式丰富，整体逻辑也比较清楚。

Education,long regarded as a dominating way to change one's fate,has recently failed to live up to many teenagers' expectations because of the confrontation of inequity rendered by it.
The biggest inequity education causes exists in the job market.For those who receive higher education ,they are superior than the less educated since they have more opportunity to have access to advanced knowledge and a decent diploma .Profound knowledge,remarkable talent and decent diploma,which some people are in lack of ,impede them from finding an appropriate job.With great expectations, they step into society,however,the reality dampens them.Because they find it impossible to present a diploma ,which they can pride them on and on which the interviewers put great emphasis.Executive recruiters prefer those who graduate from institutions of higher education to mediocre people without much talents which was caused by education.Different levels of education cause inequity in the job opportunities.Education also has some bearing on social status.Different levels of education lead to different social values.Holding disparate view of life, the less educated are often regarded as vulgar people,as a result of that ,they are often isolated or even looked down upon by the so-called literate people.Education causes inequity in social class,in which the less educated have lower status than those who receive high education.Education does cause a lot of inequity in many aspects of out daily lives ,however,it remains an vital tool to screen the elite,so what we need to do is to evaluate it in a dialectical way.