第三次作业 Education and Inequity-1048605史润泽

Inequity in Education
　　　Education has been a fundamental thesis of our society for hundreds of years,but limits are still existing after having been reformed for several times and well-developed in recent years.What can not be neglected in limits of education most is inequity.
　　　 Firstly,a great deal of evidence supports that ***ual discrimination is still rooted in our education.In distant area,for instance,it is a common sense that boys have priority to obtain the opportunity of education because of the widely believed conviction that boys have advantages over girls in studying and a trust that boys are supposed to support the whole family in the coming future.As a result,the inequality lasts for a very long time.Even if government has taken measures to popularize compulsory education,current situation can not be refreshed.
　　　When it comes to inequity of education,another situation which must be concerned is distribution of education resources.Evidence show that facilities ,for instance computer and reference books,in rural areas are significantly inferior to those in urban areas.What's more,excellent faculty of teachers are mostly round up in metropolis but not small cities,which means if one was born in a small city,he could only enjoy limited resources.Only by working harder could he keep pace his peers who were born in bigalopolis.This problem can not be solved until he is enrolled in a university.
　　　The last but not least to mention is prejudice in universities.Although the poor have already escaped from the severe studying condition,poverty has branded themselves as poverty-stricken students.Even they can go to a library or listen to the course taught by an extraordinary professor with their classmates,they can never own the time and money to take part in a variety of activities in college or to go camping with his peers.All that they have to do is to do everything they can to afford his tuition fee and meet his daily expense.In a long term,the poor will inevitably segregated by the majority because of lacking communication.Consequently,when they step in society,they only has a relatively small amount of intimate friends so that opportunities for them to attain success will correspondingly decline.
　　　To sum up,inequity in education is still a serious question that remains to be solved.To narrow the gaps between rich and poor in education,we should reexamine the current situation and emphasize the distribution bases on a fair rule.Only by doing these can we have a healthy education system.

Commented by 张淑娟　　
Education has been a fundamental thesis of our society for hundreds of years,but limits are still existing after having been reformed for several times and well-developed in recent years.What can not be neglected in limits of education most is inequity.　 Firstly,a great deal of evidence supports that ***ual discrimination is still rooted in our education.In distant area,for instance,it is a common sense[1] that boys have priority to obtain the opportunity of education because of the widely believed [2]conviction that boys have advantages over girls in studying and a trust that boys are supposed to support the whole family in the coming future.As a result,the inequality lasts for a very long time.Even if government has taken measures to popularize compulsory education,current situation can not be refreshed.　　　When it comes to inequity of education,another situation which must be concerned is distribution of education resources.Evidence show [3]that facilities ,for instance，computer [3]and reference books,in rural areas are significantly inferior to those in urban areas.What's more,excellent faculty of teachers[4] are mostly round up in metropolis but not small cities,which means if one was born in a small city,he could only enjoy limited resources.[5]Only by working harder could he keep pace [6]his peers who were born in bigalopolis.This problem can not be solved until he is enrolled in a university. The last but not least to mention is prejudice in universities.Although the poor have already escaped from the severe studying condition,poverty has branded themselves as poverty-stricken students.Even they can go to a library or listen to the course taught by an extraordinary professor with their classmates,they can never own the time and money to take part in a variety of activities in college or to go camping with his peers.[7]All that they have to do is to do everything they can to afford his tuition fee and meet his daily expense.In a long term,the poor will inevitably segregated [8]by the majority because of lacking communication.Consequently,when they step in society,they only has[3] a relatively small amount of intimate friends so that opportunities for them to attain success will correspondingly decline.　　　To sum up,inequity in education is still a serious question that remains to be solved.To narrow the gaps between rich and poor[9] in education,we should reexamine the current situation and emphasize the distribution bases on a fair rule.Only by doing these can we have a healthy education system.

[1] common sense 指的是常识，用在此处不妥当，男孩有优先权得到教育不是常识的问题。
[2]widely believed 中间加连字符，是一个单词。
[3]注意单复数问题
[4]faculty 本身有全体教职员工的意思，不用faculty of teachers
[5]时态问题，这句用一般现在时就可以了，免得文章显得时态混乱。
[6]搭配，keep pace with sth
[7]go camping 其实可以包括在 activities里面吧。
[8] will be segregated
[9] between the poor and the rich
总结，本文条理清晰，论证也有力，句子应用也不错，存在一些小的语法问题有待提高。

comment
张淑娟10486 于 周日 十一月 11, 2012 10:38 pm

.Commented by 张淑娟　　
Education has been a fundamental thesis of our society for hundreds of years,but limits are still existing after having been reformed for several times and well-developed in recent years.What can not be neglected in limits of education most is inequity.　 Firstly,a great deal of evidence supports that ***ual discrimination is still rooted in our education.In distant area,for instance,it is well acknowledged that boys have priority to obtain the opportunity of education because of the widely-believed conviction that boys have advantages over girls in studying and a trust that boys are supposed to support the whole family in the coming future.As a result,the inequality lasts for a very long time.Even if government has taken measures to popularize compulsory education,current situation can not be refreshed.　　　When it comes to inequity of education,another situation which must be concerned is distribution of education resources.Evidences show that facilities ,for instance，computers and reference books,in rural areas are significantly inferior to those in urban areas.What's more,excellent faculty are mostly round up in metropolis but not small cities,which means if one was born in a small city,he would only enjoy limited resources.Only by working harder could he keep pace with his peers who were born in bigalopolis.This problem can not be solved until he is enrolled in a university. The last but not least to mention is prejudice in universities.Although the poor have already escaped from the severe studying condition,poverty has branded themselves as poverty-stricken students.Even they can go to a library or listen to the course taught by an extraordinary professor with their classmates,they can never own the time and money to take part in a variety of activities in college or to serve as an volenteer in society.All that they have to do is to do everything they can to afford his tuition fee and meet his daily expense.In a long term,the poor will be inevitably segregated by the majority because of lacking communication.Consequently,when they step in society,they only have a relatively small amount of intimate friends so that opportunities for them to attain success will correspondingly decline.　　　To sum up,inequity in education is still a serious question that remains to be solved.To narrow the gaps between the rich and the poor in education,we should reexamine the current situation and emphasize the distribution bases on a fair rule.Only by doing these can we have a healthy education system.