education is far from equality-------朱叶1048404

Education used to be flaunted as the most equal. People take it for granted to believe that your efforts would always equal to your achievements and that you can win yourself a bright future if you are well-educated. However, faced with the increasing unemployment rate and the decreasing graduates’ ability, the public begin to question the equality of education. Is it fair or not? In my opinion, nowadays, education just widens the gap and brings us far more away from achieving equality.
First of all, the inequality between rural and urban areas. Since we adopted the policy of reformation and opening 30 years ago, china has made rapid development in economy. Remarkable achievements also have been made in developing education in rural areas. However, in the vast rural areas, especially in the western underdeveloped region, there still exists huge inequality in education with urban areas. It mainly displays in: firstly, rural students outnumber urban students while the rural areas are in dire need of funds and resources, which causes that their average education quality are far below the level of urban areas’. Secondly, those outstanding young teachers prefer to work in the city rather than live in a relatively poor condition. Consequently, the age and talent structure of teachers in rural areas is anything but reasonable.
Then, the inequality between top and poor students. Pushed by the stress of examinations, parents and teachers are much likely to judge a student by his or her performance in study. In most of the Chinese schools, it is a common phenomenon that those poor-behaved students be mocked by classmates and neglected by teachers while those top ones be adored and paid more attention to. This would not only have bad effects on their psychological development but also result in the “ matthew effect’’------ those good ones would get better and those bad ones get worse.
Last but not the least, the inequality between tradition and foreign education. On the one hand, Chinese education is test-oriented. Students are made to exploit their childhood and spare time to study because they are always being told that the ultimate destination is the college entrance examination. Thus , after they exhaust themselves to get into the college and lose any interest in study, they do nothing but waste the most valuable period in their life. A survey shows that 70 per cent of college students think they have learnt almost nothing in the university. On the other hand, under the foreign education system, children are allowed to enjoy their childhood and develop their creativity and originality. Once they get into college, they are forced study very hard to really learn something so that they can graduate. As a result, students in different education systems would differ greatly in values and talents.
In conclusion, today’s education is far from equality. And I firmly hold that the situation will not change until we do something to the system itself.

文章的整个条理很清晰明了，分别从地域，成绩和教育体制三个方面阐述教育的不公平性。

我觉得地域和成绩的部分对调一下会更好，因为第三段比较国内外的教育方式差异，第一段是比较国内东西部教育资源差异，第二段则是同一
教学条件下学生的不同表现，按照从大到小或者从小到大的逻辑范围应该会更好

1.1 Education used to be flaunted as the most equal.
读来读去总感觉这个句子没写完。the most 表示一个范围里面最怎样的，所以equal后面应该定个范围；

1.2 People take it for granted to believe that your efforts would always equal to your achievements and that you can win yourself a bright future if you are well-educated.
be equal to sth.或者equal sb/sth (in sth) equal作动词是及物的。

2.2 Since we adopted the policy of reformation and opening30 years ago, china has made rapid development in economy.
改革开放政策应为 reform and opening policy

2.7Consequently, the age and talent structure of teachers in rural areas is anything but reasonable.
年龄结构应为 age composition

结尾有些仓促了，特别是最后一句。事实上改革开放三十年教育体制改革是在不断进行着的，所以我觉着应该说成是不尽完善，应该进一步探
索之类的。

People take it for granted to believe that your efforts would ... 其实take it for granted后面不用believe了，另外国内外两种教育的比较在这里似乎并不是很切合你所要讨论的主题，请考虑一下。