1048515戴娜第三次作业----education and inequality

总的来说，本文语句流畅，条理很清晰。你用辩证统一的方法去论证educational inequality 与social inequality之间的关系，二者相互联系，不可分离。不同词汇掌握得很扎实，句法变化多样，长短句相互结合，而且而且文章的脉络很清楚，段落之间的衔接也还不错。主要问题是有一些语法错误以及有些句子之间的逻辑关系不是很清楚，现陈述如下：
1、第一句“People have been having the idea that education is able to change a person’s fate since a very long time ago.”与第二句“ This notion points out the relationship between education and inequality — they tie together.”过度的并不是很好，上一句提到的是education changes a person's fate,它与inequality之间的关系不是很紧密，有点儿让人摸不着头脑，很突兀，改变命运与不公平并无很强的逻辑联系，如果你在前文能够说到education widen（or narrow down）inequality，后文在转而提到他们之间的关系会更好一些。
2、“ Educational inequality is caused by social inequality, and social inequality is remained partly because ofeducational inequality.”这一句有语法毛病，remain为不及物动词，不用于被动语态。
3、“ We need to be patient and get rid of this difficult position step by step.”这一句有点儿表达不清，“difficult position”到底是指什么？educational inequality or social inequality？or both？还有，这一句跟本段以及后文好像没有多大关系吧？呵呵 你在仔细看看~
4、“it is said that parentage is a greater determinant of a man’s future earnings than his educational background. ”parentage前面缺少定冠词the，建议把a man's改为one's会更好，“greater determinant ”这个好像是中式英语哦，建议：.... is a much more sinigficant factor to determine one's future.....
5、“Those high-income families can afford the tuition of better and higher education, so their children can enjoy better educational resource”higher education是固定搭配吧，表示高等教育（大专以上），higher并无比较级的含义 educational resource应为复数:educational resources
6、“Moreover, students from rich families can focus on their studies while it is more difficult for poor students to concentrate their attention.”中concentrate their attention好像是中式表达，变为concentrate on their studies是不是更好一些呢？
7、“Most of the companies prefer students from key universities or overseas returnees.”句首用most是不是略显绝对一些了？因为根据最新的调查，很多的企业为了省钱不再招收名校生或者海归，转而招收一般本科学校以及专科学校的学生，比例从53.6%（2011）上升到60.6%（2012），key universities下降3%多，觉得用many会更加保险一些。
8、“We can see that what kind of college you can attend, whether you can graduate and how much farther you are able to go, etc. ”该句句子不完整，表达的意思不是很明确，一点儿小小疑惑：是不是跟后面的句子连在一起，同一句话的？
9、“All of these will make a difference to your later earnings and determine your social position. As a result, the social inequality is hard to be improved.”improve： (cause sth to) become better （使某事物）改进, 改善:improve inequality？不合适吧？inequality应该是 eliminate; clear; remove;get rid of 的吧？额 还有， hard to be improved没有必要用被动语态，直接说hard to be improve就可以了。
10、“ Since many colleges and universities have financial problems in America and other countries which have similar problem,”similar problem前面缺少定冠词the
11、“ Second, more local colleges need to be established and ^more people will be educated”^处插入thus会衔接的更好一些
12、“ open-access colleges needs great efforts from the government and the whole society.”effort改为supports 会更好一些，因为：effort：[U] use of (much) strength and energy (to do sth) （做某事物使用的）力量和精力: a waste of time and effort 时间和精力的浪费 * They lifted the heavy rock without effort. 他们没费劲就把那块沉重的石头抬起来了. * He must put more effort into his work. 他必须更加努力工作.
额 啰啰嗦嗦讲了好多，改得不当的地方还望谅解，加油哦，一起努力向前冲啊！！！ BTW，你也不要手下留情哈，错的尽管指出~~~

People have been having the idea that education is able to change a person’s fate since a very long time ago. It means that social status can be decided on education. This notion points out the relationship between education and inequality — they tie together. Educational inequality is caused by social inequality, and social inequality remains partly because of educational inequality. We need to be patient and get rid of this difficult position step by step. As a matter of fact, this situation exists all around the world. I choose the USA and China as examples to explain.

Firstly, educational inequality is caused by social inequality. From the family’s perspective, it is said that the parentage is a greater determinant of one's future earnings than his educational background. For example, a study by Stanford University shows that the gap in standardized-test scores between students from low-income and high-income families has widened about 40 percent since the 1960s in the USA. This number tells us that students from high-income families are more likely to perform well in school. The similar situation happens in China as well. Those high-income families can afford the tuition of better and higher education, so their children can enjoy better educational resources. Moreover, students from rich families can focus on their studies while it is more difficult for poor students to concentrate their attention. For instance, many students from low-income families have to do part-time jobs to pay their tuition. While to many rich students, even they do part-time jobs, it is only for fun.

Another problem that is not usually seen in China, but relatively serious in the USA relates to the schools. From the school’s perspective, especially the higher education, it prefers students from high-income families to those from low-income families. After the 2008 financial crisis, a large number of funds have been withdrawn from public education in the USA. Colleges and universities all endeavor to raise more money to support themselves. Thus college-admission committees are in favor of those students who can pay the full tuition. It means that poor students have fewer chances than rich students to get good higher education, even if they are more qualified except for money.

Secondly, social inequality remains partly because of educational inequality. In China, the certificate of university brings more money and more opportunities than that of high school or even lower levels of educational institutes. Many of the companies prefer students from key universities or overseas returnees. The students of science have much more jobs to be chosen from than students of arts do, even if they are from the same school. There are still many other similar problems in the society concerning educational background. We can see many questions, such as what kind of college you can attend, whether you can graduate and how much farther you are able to go, and all of these questions will make a difference to your later earnings and determine your social position. As a result, the social inequality is hard to be eliminated.

The problem of social and educational inequality has been existed for centuries, and it is hard to radically reform the current situation. However, we can still make a few changes with the efforts from the whole society. I have some suggestions here. First, in order to attract more poor students to higher education, colleges and universities can provide more scholarships and aid packages. Since many colleges and universities have financial problems in America and other countries which have similar problems, philanthropists in the society should offer some help. Second, more local colleges need to be established and more people will be educated then. The availability of low-cost, local, open-access colleges needs more support from the government and the whole society. The community colleges in the USA have set some good examples for us. China should gain some experience from them. In order to improve the educational quality of local colleges, some famous scholars from the best universities can volunteer to be the visiting professors of community colleges.

In a word, to solve the problem of social and educational inequality, we need to be patient and affirmative.